Tuesday, June 15, 2010

A Few Steps Forward

I’m getting back into my routines finally. I’m able to pick up where I left off with my work while only suffering a small loss of income and only one client who couldn’t wait for me to get better. I am also dressing enfemme most of the time and resuming the cooking and doing laundry cleaning as before the accident. My typing is still slow and some motor skills are slow returning. But for the most part I think everything is going to be alright.

Thanks to everyone who wrote to me, left comments on my posts, and kept checking in to my blog to see if anything new had been posted. I’m sorry for the long delay but I needed to take the time to heal in several ways. Your support and understanding is greatly appreciated by both Linda and me.

I am not going to try to reconstruct everything that has taken place over the last 5 months. Most of it is boring and doesn’t belong on this blog. But there are a few things that I think need to be covered to be able to continue the blog from this point.

First, I did not have a Super Bowl party. If you remember Linda had discussed fully bringing Beverly out to our family and friends. Most of the family knows or suspects that I spend much of my time in my feminine role and a few of our friends know and have met or spent time with Beverly. But the plan was to have me fully show that side to everyone we are in contact with on a regular basis, and the venue was to be at our Super Bowl party. Well, needless to say there was no party. In fact, I barely remember the game due to the strong pain pills I was taking at the time. I spent the day laying on the sofa snoozing off and on. I think Linda was there but I don’t think anyone else was. Maybe my mother stopped in to check on my but I really don’t remember.

I do remember Linda coming back from her business trip to the east coast. She was brought home by her co-worker and travel companion, Mike. I was in bed when she got home. Pam had been showing sissy off2 taking care of me and had me dressed in a pink nightgown. She had decided that I had to try to look good for Linda’s return so she had put make-up on me and fixed my hair. I was pretty zoned out on pills when Linda got home but I definitely remember her walking into the bedroom with Mike right behind her. They had both wanted to check on me.

I had briefly met Mike at the airport when I dropped Linda off and she had introduced us. At the time she didn’t introduce me as her husband, just as Beverly, so I wasn’t sure if Mike knew just who I was. And there we were meeting for a second time with me once again dressed as Bev. I don’t know if it was my imagination or the drugs but I thought that I detected some closeness going on between them. Linda kissed me on the check and said she would be back in a minute, then proceeded to walk Mike out.

I later learned from Linda that there had been some flirting going on during their trip but nothing happened, though she did say that they had a couple of late nights together during the trip. She told me bedroom kiss that they had gone out to dinner both nights and then gone to the hotel bar for a nightcap. She said that they had gone back to their rooms well past midnight each night. The last night Mike walked her to her door and kissed her while trying to persuade her to let him come in. She rebuffed his advances and was able to stop him with just a couple of kisses. I didn’t ask if she was disappointed that she had stopped because I really didn’t want to know the answer.

I am finally back into my cleaning and cooking routine so Linda is returning home after work to a clean house and a hot meal. I have tried to repay my sister and mother by offering to come clean their homes but neither would hear of it, saying they were happy to be able to help me through the rough times.

During the darkest of times I quit dressing enfemme for about 6 weeks. Then I slowly started reverting to the old ways by wearing a skirt and top but not putting on make-up. Linda kept insisting that I would feel (and look) better if I put on some make-up but I wouldn’t listen. It finally took a trip to my friend and hairstylist, Meghan, to get me to come around. While working on my hair, she was spending a lot of time talking to me and listening to my sad story. I wasn’t paying too much attention to what she was doing with my hair but when she finally let me look in the mirror I saw that she had fixed it really cute and feminine. All of the old desires and feeling about my feminine side started rushing back in. I gave her a big hug when I left and rushed home to put on a dress and fix my face. Linda was really pleased when she walked in the door and saw her old Beverly was back.

Marriage for 2 During my recovery period Linda did not push the wife-led marriage aspect of our relationship. She let me recover at my own speed. As soon as she saw me that night after my trip to the beauty salon, she jumped back into her leadership role in our marriage. During dinner she told me that it was time for me to get back to where I belonged… as the wife in our relationship. She wanted me to return to keeping the house up and doing my chores. No more slacking off. She also said that I had been staying inside too much and she wanted us to begin having a social life again. Beginning that weekend she wanted us to go out with me as Beverly.

It looked like things were back to normal for us.

24 comments:

ritemate said...

Bev,
You’re such a brave girl. It’s great to find that you’ve started blogging again. Coming back after such heavy blows to both body and soul certainly isn’t easy, but you’ve managed to land on your heels again.
And I’m sure Linda is happy she’s got her wife back.
Best,
ritemate

rtronce said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
appy said...

Dear Beverly,

I am so glad you are back and feeling better.
You are very lucky to have such a kind and loving Linda.

Warm greetings from

appy

Sweettie said...

Bev, just a note of support, we missed you and your wonderful stories of life with Linda and your life as the wife in your marriage. I'm sure you saw that people kept checking on you. Keep up your blog, we all love hearing from you! Hugs, Sweetie

Nicole Morgin said...

Very good!! Loving it!

Weave said...

New reader... glad you are better, and getting back into your dressing!

therealseaweed said...

Yay! So glad things are getting back to normal for you! Glad that linda was understanding and let you recover in your own time. You two are very lucky to have eachother.

alan said...

I'm glad you are getting your life back, finally. I am even gladder that you and Linda have survived such a trauma; a lot of marriages don't.

Looking forward to your summer adventures!

alan

Deni said...

I'm so glad you're back, and bet Linda will help get her wife back on track.

Lots of love, Deni

Marian said...

Bev -

I can't wait to hear from you again.... Hopefully, all things are finally going well.

MAM

appy said...

Dear Bev,

Is there a set back? I hope that Linda and you are OK.
Please, give a sign of life.

appy

Karen Harris said...

So very happy to see that you are back, Bev. I was checking back with your blog about every week until I got into some things that kept me away. (Not jail, silly) LOL A whole lot of personal stuff,
so now that you are back, I for sure will be here too.

Hugs (to you and Linda)
Karen Marie Harris

Deni said...

Bev,
I hope you and Linda are both well and happy. We all share a difficult path in life but you have shown the courage to be yourself, openly and with pride.

Lots of love

Deni xxx

babon said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
mrslickiv6 said...

I hope you're feel better, depression it is PAIN. no one understands your deep down feelings some folk think you're just jokeing or fakeing. I hope this helps. I have the deepest admiration for/of the courage you have. I have feeling like "yours" but just don't know if I could ever step out one day. Think this way, you live in a world where you are accepted. you have an understanding spouse whom cares for you deeply. People read you blog and like you writings. We/I enjoy hearing of your recovery even if you can only type one line a week. start slow work up we/i honor your comments and commitment.

have a good recovery, I know you'll come back stonger,
mrslickiv6

Kammi said...

I just discovered your blog a few days ago and have been very busy (addicted?)reading every one of your posts. Sorry to see the bad ending but it looks like you are coming along nicely.
While I am no way close to your sexual lifestyle and extent of crossdressing, I too live 75% of my days as a housewife and I love every minute of it. Of course, so does my wife. As a fairly recently appointed manager of a large retail store, and advancing rapidly, having absolutely no responsibilities at home, I have been a great help to her career. It is always a moment of great pride when I see her off to work every morning, knowing that I have played a major part in her perfect grooming and dress.
So, hope you continue with your good recovery and, selfishly, to your return to your blog.
Best wishes, Kammi

brianna said...

Great to hear you're just about done the mending, and that you're getting back to being "where you belong" as you said.

Be well,
brianna :)

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appy said...

Dear Bev,
It's more than 3 month ago since your last post.
When you are not posting because you don't want to, that's fine.
Please let us know how you and Linda are. I fear it is not good wrong, but I hope I am wrong.
I hope you and/or Linda will give us an answer.

appy

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HOLY. said...

Read in the Holy Bible
1 John 1:9-10
9. If we confess our sins, he (God) is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

10. If we say that we have not sinned, we make him (God) a liar, and his (God*s) word is not in us.

Read the Holy Bible, praying to The Holy Spirit ((refer to John 14:26 in the Holy Bible)).***The Holy Bible is the ocean of
unlimited spiritual treasures; gifts; blessings; rights and privileges & unlimited spiritual inheritance of grace, righteousness, merits and rewards FOR FREE TO EVERYONE ***&&& EVERYONE! EARN AS MUCH AS, WISHES TO EARN.

http://4justice.org/

N.B. Please send this to ten or maximum people you can.

Phred said...

What has happened to you and Linda?

liz.romney said...

Selfishly, I wish this blog would come back. But I understand that real-life takes precedence over writing blog entries.

Take Care Beverly!

XO
Liz

Alicia Kinomoto said...

Nice blog, I really enjoy your writting ;)