Happy New Year!

I know that it has been a long time since I last updated my blog. A  lot has happen over the past year… medical problems followed by personal problems, lack of ambition on my part connected to changes occurring in Linda and my lives. I apologize for not getting back to my blog but I needed the time to allow me to mend, heal, accept, and move on.

I am planning on resuming the blog in 2011. This will mean bringing you up to date with changes and, hopefully, sharing new adventures. Thanks to everyone who has written and expressed concern as well as those who have faithfully checked back to see if anything new had been added. I don’t want to write junk or post garbage. I want my blog to be truthful, insightful, and interesting, and I won’t post if I cannot maintain the level to which you have come to expect.

So, to you my friends, have a great New Year’s Eve, party hardy, play safe and sane, and we will see you in the new year.

Respectfully,

Beverly and Linda

A Few Steps Forward

I’m getting back into my routines finally. I’m able to pick up where I left off with my work while only suffering a small loss of income and only one client who couldn’t wait for me to get better. I am also dressing enfemme most of the time and resuming the cooking and cleaning as before the accident. My typing is still slow and some motor skills are slow returning. But for the most part I think everything is going to be alright.

Thanks to everyone who wrote to me, left comments on my posts, and kept checking in to my blog to see if anything new had been posted. I’m sorry for the long delay but I needed to take the time to heal in several ways. Your support and understanding is greatly appreciated by both Linda and me.

I am not going to try to reconstruct everything that has taken place over the last 5 months. Most of it is boring and doesn’t belong on this blog. But there are a few things that I think need to be covered to be able to continue the blog from this point.

First, I did not have a Super Bowl party. If you remember Linda had discussed fully bringing Beverly out to our family and friends. Most of the family knows or suspects that I spend much of my time in my feminine role and a few of our friends know and have met or spent time with Beverly. But the plan was to have me fully show that side to everyone we are in contact with on a regular basis, and the venue was to be at our Super Bowl party. Well, needless to say there was no party. In fact, I barely remember the game due to the strong pain pills I was taking at the time. I spent the day laying on the sofa snoozing off and on. I think Linda was there but I don’t think anyone else was. Maybe my mother stopped in to check on my but I really don’t remember.

I do remember Linda coming back from her business trip to the east coast. She was brought home by her co-worker and travel companion, Mike. I was in bed when she got home. Pam had been taking care of me and had me dressed in a pink nightgown. She had decided that I had to try to look good for Linda’s return so she had put make-up on me and fixed my hair. I was pretty zoned out on pills when Linda got home but I definitely remember her walking into the bedroom with Mike right behind her. They had both wanted to check on me.

I had briefly met Mike at the airport when I dropped Linda off and she had introduced us. At the time she didn’t introduce me as her husband, just as Beverly, so I wasn’t sure if Mike knew just who I was. And there we were meeting for a second time with me once again dressed as Bev. I don’t know if it was my imagination or the drugs but I thought that I detected some closeness going on between them. Linda kissed me on the check and said she would be back in a minute, then proceeded to walk Mike out.

I later learned from Linda that there had been some flirting going on during their trip but nothing happened, though she did say that they had a couple of late nights together during the trip. She told me that they had gone out to dinner both nights and then gone to the hotel bar for a nightcap. She said that they had gone back to their rooms well past midnight each night. The last night Mike walked her to her door and kissed her while trying to persuade her to let him come in. She rebuffed his advances and was able to stop him with just a couple of kisses. I didn’t ask if she was disappointed that she had stopped because I really didn’t want to know the answer.

I am finally back into my cleaning and cooking routine so Linda is returning home after work to a clean house and a hot meal. I have tried to repay my sister and mother by offering to come clean their homes but neither would hear of it, saying they were happy to be able to help me through the rough times.

During the darkest of times I quit dressing enfemme for about 6 weeks. Then I slowly started reverting to the old ways by wearing a skirt and top but not putting on make-up. Linda kept insisting that I would feel (and look) better if I put on some make-up but I wouldn’t listen. It finally took a trip to my friend and hairstylist, Meghan, to get me to come around. While working on my hair, she was spending a lot of time talking to me and listening to my sad story. I wasn’t paying too much attention to what she was doing with my hair but when she finally let me look in the mirror I saw that she had fixed it really cute and feminine. All of the old desires and feeling about my feminine side started rushing back in. I gave her a big hug when I left and rushed home to put on a dress and fix my face. Linda was really pleased when she walked in the door and saw her old Beverly was back.

During my recovery period Linda did not push the wife-led marriage aspect of our relationship. She let me recover at my own speed. As soon as she saw me that night after my trip to the beauty salon, she jumped back into her leadership role in our marriage. During dinner she told me that it was time for me to get back to where I belonged… as the wife in our relationship. She wanted me to return to keeping the house up and doing my chores. No more slacking off. She also said that I had been staying inside too much and she wanted us to begin having a social life again. Beginning that weekend she wanted us to go out with me as Beverly.

It looked like things were back to normal for us.

Back Among The Living

I am so sorry for letting this blog sit silent for so long, my dear friends. Thank- you to all of the kind people who expressed their concerns for Linda and me, and for sending your blessings as well as showing your support for my simple blog. It really means a great deal to me, more then you will ever know.

I don’t know if I will be able to reconstruct everything that has taken place over the last few months, and not sure that I want to relive most of it. I never really knew what a depression was. I had heard the term and knew others who had suffered through it, but I found out that it is impossible to truly understand the gravity of the situation until I was forced to live through it. I would not wish that experience on my worst enemy.

I don’t want to dwell on the negative but feel I must report on some of it for those who worried about and stuck by me. I am still not fully recovered and am told that it might take months before I feel I have ‘totally recovered’ (if there is such a thing). The broken and sprained bones are healed though I still feel some discomfort and weakness in both wrists at times. It’s the shattered ego that is taking the longest to heal.

I am not comfortable with asking for help. But this injury forced me to rely on others much more that I wanted. Just the simple tasks of dressing, bathing, even going to the bathroom required assistance. My modesty quickly and forcibly disappeared. Having to have one’s wife, mother, or sister wipe your bottom or zip up your pants will reduce even a strong person to tears.

Expressing my feminine side was not of interest for me following my accident. All I wanted to wear was something that was comfortable and easy to slide on and off. I did not feel the least bit feminine. At the hospital the nurses and doctors treated me like the lady I had presented at the ER. I didn’t have to move much so laying there in bed I really didn’t care much for how I was dressed. Linda and Pam made sure that I had feminine clothes available and I checked out of the hospital in a simple button-up the front dress with big sleeves. It was easy to put  on over my cast and bandages so I didn’t complain.

Once home I really didn’t care what I wore because I was on pain pills and slept most of the time. After the second week Linda talked me into dressing more as Bev as well as wearing some make-up (she had to put it on of course). Pam and Mom came by during the day while Linda was working and assisted me. The embarrassment of having them pull up my panties after helping me in the bathroom slowly died away and became just part of the routine. There is more to this part that I will relate later.

I think it was watching others taking care of my housework that really started the depression. I couldn’t help and just had to sit and watch them. I had to inform my clients that I would be taking some time off work because of the accident so I knew that I was not contributing to our financial situation either. These really pushed the depression faster.

More to come soon.

Updating Bev's Blog

Hi, this is Linda. I think that this is only the second time I have commented on this blog since Bev started it. I am doing so now to update you as to why it has been quiet for so long. I know that Bev was pretty good at keeping this current. So I'm sure you have been wondering what happened.
As you know, Bev had a nasty accident this winter and broke her right arm while also severely spraining her left arm. Both took longer to heal than expected, plus there were some complication with the right arm healing.
Because of this, Beverly slipped into a bad depression in March. She was unable to do much of anything and hated the idea of having to have other people do things for her. It was not a good time for either of us, though Bev had the worst of it.
It looks like we have finally turned the corner and life is beginning to get back to our version of normal. I know Bev has felt bad about letting this blog slide. We are both hoping that she returns to it soon as it is good mental therapy for her.
I can't promise to update any further anytime soon. I am hoping that I don't have to. Thanks to all of you who have been faithfully following this blog and returning for updates.
Linda

PS... I took time to go back and read several of Beverly's posts and find it very interesting to read her feelings and thoughts. I must say that she has captured events quite faithfully.

ER is More Than A TV Show

I looked really good that day. Even though I was wearing a simple cardigan sweater and skirt, it was an attractive outfit, very flattering on me. Pam had complemented me on my appearance as she hung up my coat. I had worn my  leather knee high black boots and changed into casual shoes at her  place. I loved those boots… little did I know that they would lead to my down fall, literally.

The roads were starting to get slick from the falling snow and I was glad to be finally pulling into my own driveway. I grabbed the bag containing my shoes and headed across the driveway to the side door. I had taken about a half a dozen steps when suddenly I was face down on the snow-covered concrete.

I was just about to start swearing at myself for being such a klutz and ruining my stockings (I had worn stockings with a garter belt instead of pantyhose because I wanted to feel sexy even if all I was doing was visiting my sister) when the pain hit. I won’t repeat what I said, but it wasn’t very ladylike, I assure you.

I immediately realized that my right arm was broken. And as I tried to push myself up with my left arm, more pain set in. I wasn’t sure but I thought that I had broken both arms. Somehow, I got to my feet and got over to the door. Opening it was going to be a challenge, but I found that my left hand could move slightly without causing more pain. I got the door unlocked and got inside. I sat and cried for several minutes while trying to think what to do.

Fortunately, I have Pam on speed dial, so I called my sister for help. She got there in record time, and now I wonder how she did that on those roads. She was happy to see that I still had my coat on.

“Come on, I’m taking you to the emergency room right now,” she commanded. I tried to tell her that I couldn’t go dressed as I was, that she had to help me get changed. But as I screamed in pain as she tried to remove my coat she said, “There is no way that I can undress you by myself in your condition. You are going to have to suck it up and realize that you have to go to the hospital as you are.”

I knew she was right but I didn’t want to have a bunch of strangers seeing me as Beverly. I realized that I had no choice and allowed her to help me get into her car. All the way to the hospital she kept assuring me that the hospital staff, especially those in the ER, had seen people like me before. That really didn’t help me feel any better, but at that point I had no choice.

My appearance created some problems at the hospital in that Pam was calling me Beverly as she spoke to me and my look said ‘female’. But as I was being admitted and being asked questions the confusion set in momentarily. I was asked my name, and since I knew that this was going to go on my insurance I knew I had to give the legal information. So I told the admitting nurse my male name and watched her facial reaction go from confusion to recognition.

“Would you prefer to be addressed as Beverly?” she thoughtfully asked.

I was in so much pain that I really couldn’t answer at that point so Pam replied “it might be easier until we get her changed.”

“That won’t be a problem as we can’t very well put an ID bracelet on her arms right now. So you can do the talking to the doctor and I will tell the other nurse who will be working with Beverly,” Nurse Amber replied.

Amber asked Pam to help her get my coat off gently as I sat on a gurney. I just about passed out from the pain during the ordeal. Then they removed my boots as I laid down.

“We won’t worry about the rest of her clothing just now. They will want to get x-rays but can do that with the sweater on most likely,” Amber stated as she covered me with a white sheet.

Dr. Wagner, the on-call ER physician came in a few minutes later. He talked to  Pam and allowed me to just quietly lie there. A couple of times, as he examined both arms, he called me Beverly. I wasn’t sure if he knew differently at that point as I wasn’t really focusing too well then.

“We are going to take you to x-ray now and get a better look at those arms. I’m thinking that your left arm is probably just sprained and not broken. The x-ray will tell us for sure. Your right arm is definitely broken but I can’t tell how bad yet. As soon as Nurse Kelly gets here we will go,” the doctor stated reassuringly.

As if on cue, another nurse, Kelly I presumed, walked in. “I will be taking Beverly down to x-ray now,” she said after introducing herself. Since she hadn’t looked at any chart, and was calling me Beverly, I knew that she had spoken to Nurse Amber. I wondered how quickly news of me was spreading through the ER. “Pam, you can come with us and wait in the waiting room there. Then we will take Beverly into another room as the doctor looks at the x-rays and decides further treatment. Sorry we can’t give you anything just yet for the pain, Beverly. But as soon as we can, I will get you something.”

I don’t know how long I was in x-ray as I somehow managed to sleep, or more likely pass out. I remember the pain as they moved my arms around. I don’t remember hearing the x-ray technician speak to me or comment to anyone about me. I think that perhaps he had been informed of me privately.

Soon I was being told that I was going to sit up so that I could be undressed and put into a hospital gown. Nurse Kelly asked another nurse, I never got her name, to help her. Once again I assumed she had been told about me because she didn’t act surprised during the undressing process by my change in apparent gender.

Pam was in the room with us and tried to keep things light by commenting on my sexy underwear. “Beverly, I had no idea that you were wearing such nice things to come visit me,” she joked as my sweater and skirt were removed, revealing the matching set of bra, panty, and garter belt.

“Looks like you won’t be wearing these stockings again,” she stated as she showed me the holes in the knees.

I don’t even know if I was able to blush at that point. I remembered that a few days earlier I was worrying about our upcoming Super Bowl party where I knew I was going to be appearing as Beverly in front of friends and family. Now I was in the hospital where doctors and nurses were seeing even more of me. And all I could do was lay there.

“I’m afraid we are going to have to remove your bra and breast forms,” Kelly gently informed me. At that point I didn’t care about keeping up appearance. “You can keep your panties on under the gown,” she smiled.

I don’t know how they were able to remove everything so gently without causing me great pain. But they were truly professional in all ways. Not once did I feel embarrassed by my appearance, even as Beverly was stripped away. As they were fastening the gown in back the doctor reappeared.

“As I thought, your right arm is broken just below the elbow. It is a clean break and will only require setting it, no surgery. The left arm is not broken, but you do have a pretty severe sprain. I will wrap it to keep it immobile. It will have to stay wrapped for two to three weeks so you will be pretty limited in what you will be able to do for awhile,” he informed us. “We can get you into an operating room in about 30 minutes, so we can get that arm set and put into a cast. I want to keep you overnight because you have had so much trauma. I just want to make sure everything else is alright. Kelly will tell you about getting you released tomorrow. Any questions?” he asked.

I shook my head no and he left. Kelly said that she would be back shortly and asked if I needed anything. Pam seemed to read my mine as she asked Kelly if she could bring us a pan of water and a wash cloth. She knew I wanted to get my make-up off and return to my male self.

“Don’t worry, Bev. I will stay with you tonight until you are ready to sleep,” Pam said as she washed away the make-up. “Then I will be here to take you home tomorrow. I think you should plan on staying with us until Linda gets back. Oh, and I will call Linda and tell her what happened as well. I will swing by your place in the morning and get you some clothes to wear home and at my place,” Pam reassured me.

Fortunately, the rest of the day and evening was pretty much a fog to me as I was put under while they set my arm, then I slept the rest of the afternoon and evening. I guess that is the body’s way of coping with trauma and stress. I was very thankful for it.

^ More to come ^

The Whats & Whys

I am sure you are all wondering what the hell happened to me and why haven’t I been updating my blog. The answer is that a lot has happened that has kept me from writing. I will address the ‘what’ first, then try to fill in details to the best of my ability.

I live in the Midwest, in Iowa in fact. And, as in much of the U.S. this  year, winter has not been kind to us… lots of snow and ice coupled with cold temperatures and wind. Not the most pleasant place to live this time of the year. On January 26^th I became a casualty of winter. I fell on the ice in my driveway, breaking my right arm. The break required setting the arm and applying a cast. I was fortunate that it did not require surgery as I went through that ordeal years ago on a broken leg. In this fall I also badly sprained my left wrist that required wrapping it in an elastic bandage. The accident left me without the use of my arms for over 2 weeks. I am now able to use my left arm limitedly. So I have not been to type until now. Even this update is taking an extremely long time as I try to type with my left hand. Did I mention that I am severely right handed as well?

Ok, now you know what happened and my reason for not blogging. Let me try to tell the story that has taken place since the fall as I know many of you have written asking about the Super Bowl details. Here goes…

As I mentioned in an earlier blog entry, Linda started a new position at work right after the first of the year. This new position is a great promotion with lots of potential for advancement into upper management (as well as a hefty raise!!). We also knew that with the promotion came added responsibilities including frequent overnight and multiple days travel out of state. Linda has had only limited travel opportunities in the past so she was really looking forward to this part of the promotion.

Linda was leaving on a trip on that fateful morning of January 26 and wanted me to take her to the airport so she wouldn’t have to leave a car there. She was going to be gone for three days. Since I didn’t have much going on; work had slowed down for me and my housework was caught up; I had arranged to spend part of the day at my sister’s house enjoying a little sisterly ‘girl time’. Because of that, I had dressed in a pretty but simple skirt and sweater. My make-up was done to perfection and a new experimental styling of my hair had turned out great with a short and sassy spring to it. Meghan has been helping me let my hair grow out longer and it had finally grown  past my ears with full bangs, kind of a Meg Ryan look if you will. Linda was really pleased with my look as we grabbed our coats and headed out to the car.

I really hadn’t talked to her much about her trip and what it entailed, so during the drive she filled me in on details of what she was going to be doing and where she was going to be staying. She was headed to Atlanta to visit with an important company client that she would be responsible for. It was then that I learned that she was not traveling alone. A co-worker, Mike, would be showing her the ropes as he turned this client over to her. I didn’t know Mike so I asked Linda about him.

“Mike is 5 years older than me and has been with the company four years longer. He is very well thought of because he has been successful, is aggressive, confident, and very well respected by upper management. I am willing to bet that he will be the next VP and probably before the year is out,” she explained. I noticed that she was leaving out any physical details, but I didn’t want to pry so I remained quiet as she continued.

“Mike and I have had some friendly rivalries over a couple of clients last year. And he has won out each time. That is why our boss is send me out with him, so I can learn to be more like Mike, more aggressive I guess,” she said. “Maybe you will meet him someday. I think you would like him. Everyone does.”

Changing the subject, she turned to me as I drove and asked, “so what are your plans for these three days while I’m gone. Is Pam the only person you will be spending time with, or do you have a date planned?”

I knew (or hoped) she was teasing as I hadn’t even talked to any ‘guys’ lately, so of course I had no date plans. I began to wonder if she had planted any seeds that I wasn’t aware of .

“My only plans are to spend a few hours with Pam today and then just stay home. The weather report isn’t all that good over the next day or two so I don’t plan to venture out. Pam and I don’t really have anything planned for today either. She just asked me to come over for coffee and to chat as we haven’t hardly seen each other since Christmas,” I replied.

Upon arriving at the airport Linda told me what airline to drive to and that I didn’t need to get out of the car since she could handle her bag just fine. I was glad to hear that as I had not planned on getting out of the car at the airport at eight o’clock in the morning with hundreds of people walking by, not while I was dressed as Beverly. We talked about when she would be returning and me meeting her at the curb by baggage return. Just as she was about to lift her luggage out of the trunk I heard someone call out her name.

“Hey, Linda! Hi. Let me help you lift that out. Wow, did you pack for a month?”

A good looking guy in a grey turtleneck and black slacks was helping her with her bag. I guessed that it must be Mike. I remembered that Linda had avoided mentioning anything about his looks or physical details. And now I knew why. Can you picture  Matthew McConaughey in about 10 years? Can you say HUNK?? I was glad that I was behind the wheel so I didn’t have to face him. But just then Linda walked back up to the passenger’s side door and opened it.

“Beverly, say hi to my friend and co-worker, Mike,” she grinned. Oh, she can’t be doing this to me. But she was.

“Mike, this is Beverly,” she innocently introduced us. I suddenly realized that she hadn’t said ‘who’ I was, not husband or partner, just my name.

Mike leaned into the open door and reached his arm out to shake hands with me. I softly shook his hand as I noticed the powerful grip he had. He didn’t squeeze my hand so much as that I could just tell that there was a lot of strength there. He smiled warmly at me, then glanced at my legs as my skirt had ridden up quite high on my thigh as I leaned across the car. Then his eyes left my legs and returned to meet my eyes. I felt an uncontrolled shiver rush through me as he again smiled before releasing my hand and stepping back.

“I’ll see you Friday,” Linda said as she tried to act innocent about this impromptu meeting between her sissified husband and hunky co-worker.

“Linda, why don’t I just give you a ride home when we get back,” Mike offered. “That way Beverly doesn’t have to drive all the way out here and sit around waiting for you.”

Linda quickly agreed, leaned down to say goodbye to me as she blew me a kiss, then closed the door without giving me a chance to respond to all that had just taken place.

And with that, I was left alone with my thoughts. I wondered why Linda hadn’t told me about her co-worker being so good looking. I didn’t know if he was married (or even if that mattered to him). I hoped that their travels together would be few, maybe even just this once. I also remembered that Linda and I hadn’t been intimate for the past few weeks and she hadn’t been with Darryl or any man in a long time. I hoped she wasn’t feeling horny while heading off to another city hundreds of miles from me. A lot was going through my mind as I drove to my sister’s house.

Pam could tell something was bothering me as she opened her door to let me in. We spent the next hour with me telling her about meeting Mike as well as my thoughts and fears. She tried to assure me that I had nothing to worry about, but I could tell that there was uncertainty in her voice.

I spent three hours with Pam, just two sisters chatting away. It was really great and I appreciated a closeness with her now that I never had growing up as her brother. We could talk about so many things so easily, and nothing was off limits with us. We talked about clothes, movies, sex, guys, sex… well, you get the idea. I never thought I would share intimate details with my sister. But, after all, she had seen my wife naked in front of another man while I was serving them. And she had assisted in spanking me that day. It doesn’t get more intimate then that.

As she got up to check on something she was fixing for dinner, I looked out the window and realized that it was snowing pretty heavily.

“I think maybe I should be going as it is really coming down out there,” I explained. We hugged each other in a very warm embrace, exchanged our ‘I love you’, and I headed home, having no idea of what awaited me and the changes that were about to be thrust upon me.

This is a good place to stop for now as this has taken me several hours to type. A lot more to come. I hope you will stop back.

Two Year Anniversary

I began this blog two years ago… 24 months ago…730 days ago…17520 hours ago. Ok, you get the idea.

For the most part, things have been pretty normal around home. I still relish my role of housewife to Linda and enjoy cooking and cleaning.So it shouldn’t have surprised me when Linda wanted to discuss this topic yesterday.

I must point out that I am a BIG Indianapolis Colts fan ( I am rushing to finish this blog entry because the game starts in 15 minutes). Linda mentioned that if the Colts get into the Super Bowl we should have a Super Bowl party for our friends and family. I got excited about this and immediately mentally preparing menus for the occasion. Then she dropped the bombshell.

“That would be the perfect occasion to let everyone know about our wife-led marriage and your role as my wife and housewife,” she proceeded to explain. “You could finally come out to everyone as Beverly. I think most have already guessed that, but this would be the chance to show them once and for all.” 

 

I am not sure how I feel about this. She asked me if I felt I was a housewife or a househusband. Of course I admitted that I was a happy housewife. With that she declared that the decision was made.

I am sure I will have many mixed emotions confronting me as I watch the game today.

Evolving and Conforming

The other night I was busy working on a project so Linda offered to make dinner for us. It was a surprising offer because, over the last four years, I could count on one hand the number of times she has cooked. Since I stay home, it has become my responsibility to do the cooking and I take great pride in having a warm, tasty meal on the table when she gets home from work.

I found myself having mixed feelings about her offer. Part of me was glad that she was allowing me to continue working on the project (it was work related, not something I was just puttering around with). However, the other part of me was resentful that she was messing around in MY KITCHEN! That was short-lived when, within five minutes of her starting dinner, she was asking me where I kept various things: mixing bowl, measuring cups, the stove.

Linda acted quite proud of her accomplishment when I sat down to dinner. It has been a long time since we have had mac and cheese as a main course, but I complimented and thanked her for her efforts.

It’s little things like this that reinforce the roles we have taken, that show us how much we take for granite. I am happy and proud to be the housewife, cook, maid, and submissive partner to Linda. I am glad I am able to do these things for her, and for us. We have become better people because we have found our proper roles and purpose of life. It may not be right for anyone else, but it works for us.

New Year Brings Changes

I hope everyone survived the New Year and didn’t overdo it too much. I am happy to report that Linda and I had an enjoyable, for the most part anyway, time alone as well as with friends. Before I get into that I would be remised if I didn’t take a moment for selfish and personal pride to point out that our favorite sports team, the University of Iowa Hawkeye foot ball team, had an outstanding Orange Bowl appearance, winning 24-14 over Georgia Tech. Now we truly wish that we had been able to take the time to attend the activities in Miami. Plus, it would have gotten us out of the nasty winter we are experiencing right now.

We had an interesting New Year’s Eve. We hadn’t planned anything in advance because we weren’t sure if we were going to be home or lucky enough to travel to Florida. I know at least one guy who wished we would have made the trip, or at least Linda had.

Darryl called Linda several times last week trying to persuade her to fly down. He offered to pay for her airline ticket as well as secure bowl tickets. He even included paying my way if it meant getting Linda there. And she was going back and forth on her decision right up until Saturday. It was work commitments that finally convinced her not to go. More about that in a moment.

Because of this indecisiveness, we didn’t make any plans for New Year’s Eve. Thankfully, Linda’s best friend, Anna, called her on December 30^th and convinced her that we should get together with her and her husband and do something to celebrate the New Year. The four of us went out to dinner, then back to their house to talk and bring in the new year. Everything was going well and we were all enjoying ourselves… until we got to their house.

As soon as we sat down with drinks in hand Anna asked if we had thought about going to Florida again this year. She and Ron knew all the details about what happen last year with Darryl and Linda as well as with Roger and me. Of course Linda told about Darryl’s offer which led to Anna teasing me about if I would let Linda go alone or if I wanted to go see Roger again. The conversation was quite embarrassing to me as it went from the cuckolding aspect of the arrangement to my crossdressing lifestyle. For some reason I find it more difficult to talk about ‘Beverly’ when I am in guy mode, and the grin on Ron’s face the whole time made the situation all that more difficult and embarrassing. He kept asking Linda questions about how she was getting along without her lover. At one point he asked her if she was planning on finding someone closer to home to take to bed.

“I have been thinking about it and have a few possible guys in mind,” Linda replied without looking at me. “Do you know of anyone who might be interested?” Then finally looking at me she added, “in either of us for that matter.”

“Oh, does that mean that Beverly is in need of a male suitor as well?” he inquired, looking me dead in the eye.

I almost died when Linda replied, “I think Beverly needs to keep working on her cock-sucking skills so she doesn’t lose her touch. Maybe you would be interested in that,” she teased him.

Ron started sputtering a hasty denial as Anna teased him. “What do you say Ron? Do you want to volunteer to let Beverly practice on you? You are always begging me for a blowjob. Maybe this would be a solution for both of us.”

Linda and Anna laughed as Ron and I refused to look at each other. Thankfully the subject was changed to more mundane topics.

Linda and I spent New Year’s Day relaxing at home, putting away the Christmas decorations, as well as relaxing together on the sofa watching old movies. I remember not too long ago when I would have been lobbying to watch all of the football games on the first day of a new year. But that was the furthest thing from my mind this year.

“Linda, I think we need to talk about what will be happening in the new year,” I hesitantly ventured when I brought her a glass of wine. “Are you really thinking about taking a lover? Someone from here?” I inquired.

“I think you are right. This is a good time to have a frank discussion,” she said. “Let’s start with what is happening with my job. As you know, there are going to be some big changes with my new position.”

I won’t go into details of what either of our jobs are or what they involve other than to say that our careers have evolved greatly and differently than either of us anticipated when we first got married. I am fortunate to work in a field that allows me to do consulting from my home with clients across the United States because of modern technology (internet/emails, overnight carriers, fax, and even face-to-face meetings via webcasting). Because of this, I am able to live in my feminine mode pretty much 24/7 now. This also led to me assuming the role of wife and housekeeper, which I love. When we were first married, I was the primary breadwinner and provider. Now, with me being home instead of working at a company, my income has not grown but my satisfaction has. Linda started out working for a small company that has grown very big and has allowed her the ability to grow and progress with it. She has just been promoted to a major management position with the next step being a vice-president. This new position is what she returned to after the holidays. She is now the primary wage-earner as well.

“I will be traveling now with this new position to the cities where our other branches are. This travel will require me to be gone for several days at a time. And I will be doing this every few months until we get everything running smoothly. That means that I will be away from home a lot more. And since you are now totally integrated into your role as the wife in our relationship, a role that I truly love seeing you in I might add, I will be needing a man in my life from time to time. Darryl has filled that role nicely this past year, but his trips are infrequent at best.” She looked at me for my reaction. Seeing nothing negative being communicated by me, she continued.

“As you very well know now, a woman has needs, needs that only a real man can fulfill. You have experienced that with Roger and Jesse so you can understand that I, too, have needs. So it’s only fair to let you know that I might from time to time find someone when traveling, or even locally, who can help me with my desires. You wouldn’t deny me that, would you?” she asked. My silent nodding my head signaling my acceptance. “You will always come first. I love you dearly and do not plan on leaving you. But I fully intend to have a healthy sex life as well, one that Beverly just cannot fulfill. Are we on the same page?”

Again, I silently nodded so she pushed forward.

“Over this next year I intend to have you move even further into your feminine role as it becomes more prominent in your daily life. You can expect our families, our friends, and the community to witness your immergence. No more hiding behind the safety of our front door. It’s time for Beverly to come out of her cocoon and soar. I know it is kind of scary and that you would rather live in secrecy, but for me to succeed in my new position I am going to need more freedom in my movements, and that means not having to worry if someone was to find out about our lifestyle choice. Understand?”

Again, a nod.

“Do you agree?”

Nod, nod.

“This is going to be a very interesting year for both of us. I know that I have your support and you should know that you have mine, totally, as well.”

A soft kiss sealed the deal as well as my fate. I am not sure what to expect or how quickly change will come. But I hope you will join me for the ride.

A new decade, indeed!