“We need to talk. Where do you see this going?” Those were the words that Linda greeted me with the other night. Ten words that stopped me dead in my tracks and got my mind to racing. What did she mean by that? What as she thinking? Was my world about to come tumbling down on me? Needless to say, I was pretty worried and dreaded Saturday morning when we would finally have time to talk.
Our time together lately has been difficult and troubling. Linda has had a lot on her mind lately. Her father passed away four months ago and her mother’s health has declined as she faced old age without her rock; her husband of 65 years. Linda has had to wrestle with most of the problems and tasks without the aid of her older sister or brother. We are both the youngest of three siblings in our respected family. Yet the lion’s share of the responsibility has been put upon us when dealing with our parents for some reason.
Linda’s sister has a husband who is nearly helpless when left alone. Now there is no reason for this as he is a successful businessman and is fully capable of taking care of himself. However, he lets on like he will starve or the house will crumble without his wife at home. So she coddles to him and feels like she cannot leave him without food prepared in advance or force him to have to sleep alone for a night or two. She has mentioned to Linda on several occasions how lucky Linda is to have me as a husband because of how well I care for Linda. There have been several occasions when Linda has been tempted to tell her about our roles just to see her reaction.
Linda knows that she doesn’t have to worry about me while she is dealing with family pressures. I try to be supportive as well as allowing her time by herself when she needs it. And she knows that everything will be fine at home in her absence. The house will be clean, the laundry will be done, and there will be a hot meal waiting when she finally walks in the door.
Because of all of this, I know Linda’s mind has been other places other than thinking about our wife-led marriage. Over the past few months thing have been pretty staid, not progressing much but not backsliding either. So her question of ‘where to you see this going’ shook me. I was afraid that she wanted things to return to how it use to be with us sharing household responsibilities, that I would no longer be considered her ‘wife’. So when we finally sat down to talk I was ready for the bomb to go off. But it never did.
I am in the process of gathering this all together and will write about it tomorrow.