Getting Back To Normal?

I don’t want to give the wrong impression here. I am not into adult baby play in any way. I agreed to use the diapers because  it just made sense under the circumstances. But I am sure that Mike drew a different conclusion after seeing me dressed as I was.

I stayed on the couch while Linda and Mike worked and talked at the dining room table. I could hear them out there talking softly but I soon fell back to sleep. When I awoke two hours had passed and Mike was gone so I don’t know what else took place. When I asked Linda if anything was going on between them she insisted that it was all business, that nothing more than mild flirting and harmless touches had happened.

“Well,” she conceited, “he did kiss me when he left, but that was his way of being friendly. You have nothing to worry about.” And with that the subject was dropped, at least for the time being.

“What’s with this baby get-up?” I asked, looking at the pink gown and diaper cover that enveloped me.

“That’s just practical apparel for someone in your condition,” Linda responded. “Besides, it’s cute. It’s not like everyone’s going to see you.”

“What about Mike? He saw me. Twice!” I argued. “I can’t imagine what he must think of me.”

“Oh, don’t go worrying about what Mike thinks. I’m sure he has more important things on his mind. Besides, he said you looked darling napping there.” I didn’t mention him calling me ‘Honey’ and wondering what that was all about.

“And what’s with that pacifier?” I inquired.

“I just thought it looked cute too. It just helped complete the picture. Right now you are as helpless as a baby so it’s fitting to enjoy the whole experience,” Linda explained.

Over the next several months I healed, went in and out of depressive states, and felt totally helpless most of the time. Now when I look back I realized all of the things my family was doing to support me. I just wasn’t appreciative of it at the time. Linda, Mom, and my sister were doing all they could to help me recover. I was soon able to use my arms somewhat limitedly which allowed the diapers to go away, and with that the whole baby thing. I think I was the only one happy with that.

Nothing Like a Nap To Bring Everything Into Focus

A week after my accident I had an appointment to return to my doctor so he could check how I was mending and healing. Linda took the day off work so that she could drive me to the appointment. I think she was feeling a little guilty for being away on her business trip when I was injured. I was finally cutting back on the pain pills so I was starting to think more clearly, not always feeling like I was in a fog.

Linda was still insisting that I wear a diaper and “changing me” two  to three times a day. That meant that I was often sitting around in a wet and cold diaper for hours on end. I complained to her about it but she rebuffed me saying the alternative was to not be wearing anything on my lower half so I could use the toilet without assistance. I realized how difficult that would be, at least until I regained some usage of at least one of my arms, so I reluctantly went along with her diapering plan.

“Since we are unable to do anything else sexually right now, being diapered will remind you of what a sissy little girl you are, as helpless  as a baby,” she prodded me as she dressed me for my doctor’s visit.

I was glad that I was not required to undress in the exam room as the doctor was only interested in my arms. He was concerned with the color of my left arm and asked me how I was feeling. When I said little in reply, Linda jumped in to respond.

“He’s been sleeping most of the time due to the medication so he’s lying in bed most of the day. He tells me that he is a lot of pain most of the time and doesn’t want to get out of bed, even to use the bathroom. So I have had to start using diapers so he doesn’t need to get up.”

I was shocked to hear the doctor reply that diapering me sounded like a good idea. Linda beamed while helping slip my coat on.

“Do you need changing before we go?” Linda asked as the doctor broke into a wide smile. “I’m sure the doctor would let us use the room long enough to put a fresh diaper on you.”

Red faced, I indicated that I was fine and we left the office. I was quiet on the drive home, not wanting to refer to the incident that had just taken place. When we arrive home Linda helped me take off my clothes, and then had me lay on the bed as she placed a fresh diaper on me. She dressed me in a yellow baby doll nightie, put some lipstick on me and sprayed me with some perfume.

“What is that for?” I asked.

“Your face looked a little pale and the perfume will help cover up any odors that might drift out of your diaper.”

She helped me get settled on the sofa, brought me a pain pill, and then left me to drift off for an afternoon nap. I awoke later to what in my groggy state I thought was a door bell ringing, then tried to focus on the sounds of a man and woman voices. I slowly opened my eyes as I became aware that the voices were now in the same room as me. I looked up from the sofa to see Linda standing besides Mike.

“Honey, you remember Mike don’t you, my co-worker who I went with on my trip last week? I know you met him at the airport but may not have remembered him dropping me off when we returned as you were pretty out of it then.” As Linda was smiling down at me I realized that she was holding his hand, having just led him into the room, and they were both wearing identical smirks on their faces.

“Hi again,” Mike said. “Don’t get up. You look quite comfortable there.”

It was then that I realized how I was dressed and that it had been  the second time Mike had seen me dressed in a short, feminine, babydoll gown… only this time it was even worse! While I had been napping, Linda had covered me with a short pink baby blanket that was covered in a baby print design. It was only covering my chest and arms, leaving me exposed from the waist down. That meant that my diaper and plastic diaper cover were on full display! And to make matters worse, if that was possible, during my nap Linda had placed a pacifier in my mouth and I had been sucking on it without realizing it. No wonder Mike had been smirking at me. I was laying there looking like an adult baby in full bloom. I quickly spit the pacifier out but it was too late, the damage had already been done. First time Mike had met Linda’s husband I had been fully dressed as Beverly. And the next two times he had seen me in baby apparel. In his mind I was truly Linda’s sissy husband and there was nothing I could say at that moment that would change his mind.

“I just stopped by to drop some papers off that Linda needs to look at tonight,” he stated. “You just go ahead and finish your nap, Honey. I won’t keep her long.”

Honey? Did he just call me Honey? Before I could reply, Mike pulled Linda closer by her hand and softly said, “Why don’t we go into the other room and let her sleep?”

Linda smiled warmly at me and allowed herself to be directed out of the living room by Mike, who had released her hand and now had his arm around her waist in a very possessive manner.

At least she hadn’t placed the pacifier back into my mouth. And when did she buy it and the blanket. Were there more surprises to come?

You Need to Check Out Her Blog

One of my favorite blogs mentioned my humble little blog recently. I want to offer a bit thank you to Suzanne at “All Mine”. She has a great blog that I follow every day. Be sure to check it out.

http://suzanne-allmine.blogspot.com/?zx=cbcec968f0da0e17

Once Upon A Time…

As promised, I am back trying to revive this blog. I must have sat down at the computer twenty to thirty times over the last several months with the intent of writing something. But the words just wouldn’t come and I found myself putting off writing, hoping for a better day to come soon. Unfortunately, I just couldn’t find the inspiration or desire to get back into writing mode. Anyone who writes a blog on a regular basis knows that inspiration and desire must be there or the writing is pure hell. That’s what I have been going through. I felt like I needed to write, that I owed it to you to put something down on paper/screen. But I just lacked the desire. Finally Linda convinced me that I just had to start by writing something, that by doing so I would slowly regain the desire to write again. So that is what I am attempting today.

It would be nearly impossible for me to reconstruct everything that has happened since my accident, plus it would boarder on pure torture to the reader to waddle through most of it. Instead, I am going to try to recapture the important, essential, and, hopefully, interesting parts of the past. It is also my hope that there will be new adventures to share as well as Linda and I attempt to resurrect our life and wife-led lifestyle. I think I know what you like and why you visit my blog, so I will concentrate on those aspects for awhile.

With that in mind, let’s go back to shortly after my accident and the start of my recovery. If you read (or re-read) those last few entries, you will remember that after I came home from the hospital I was on some pretty heavy pain meds to help me through the discomfort I was feeling. Discomfort??? Who am I kidding. I was hurting bad! I loved those pills!!

And here was my problem. Besides being in pain, I was unable to use either of my arms and hands since the right was badly broken and in a cast and the left was severely sprained and heavily bandaged. This meant I was totally helpless to do most things for myself… eating, dressing, and most embarrassing… going to the bathroom.

Linda was gone on a business trip so my sister, Pam, and mother were taking care of me. Pam was doing most of the care the day I came home from the hospital. It was a good thing that I was mostly out of it due to the drugs because it was really tough for me to have to allow my sister to have to help me go to the bathroom. I couldn’t even reach down to tuck myself into my  underwear so she had to handle my boy parts every time I had to go. She made jokes about it hoping to relieve some of my embarrassment, but it was still difficult for me to endure. She decided that it would be easier if I wore a skirt so I wouldn’t have to have her or Mom pull down my pants. They could just reach up under my skirt and pull my panties down and not see my boy parts. So I wore skirts and sleeveless tops during most of that time.

When Linda was due back from her trip, Pam dressed me in a pretty pink nightie, helped me shave, and put make-up on me so I would look nice when Linda got home. That was how I was dressed when Linda came into the bedroom, followed by Mike. You may need to go back and read my blog from June 15 (A Few Steps Forward) to remind yourself about this part of my past. Fortunately, I was too drugged up on pain pills to think too much about being seen by Linda’s co-worker dressed that way. Later I would learn that there would be repercussions from it.

There was one change that took place after Linda got home. For the next few days while she was at work Pam and Mom took turns coming over to our house to check on me and fix my lunch. But when the weekend came Linda took over those duties and told them that they wouldn’t need to come over as often after that because Linda would make sure that I was alright during the day. Neither question Linda, and looking back, I think a discussion must have taken place that I wasn’t privy to.

Saturday, while Linda was helping me ‘clean up’ after a bathroom break, she informed me that she couldn’t be bothered every time I need to go to the bathroom. So she had come up with a solution… she was going to have me wear diapers until I was finally able to take care of myself again! She pulled my  panties off and marched me into our bedroom where she proceeded to have me lay on the bed. She slid a diaper under me then followed it with a pink plastic diaper cover. The plastic pant had little bows and ribbons along with little girls dancing all over it. I had no idea where she got such a thing but later she told me that she had ordered the diapers and plastic pants off of ebay right after Pam had called her to tell her about my accident. She told me that the diaper would allow me to go all day without having to go to the bathroom ‘the conventional way’. So for the next several weeks I was constantly in diapers and was changed after I had used them. Even Mom and Pam changed me when they came over. I think that was more embarrassing then when they were tucking me back into my panties earlier.

Most of this time I was dressed in babydoll nighties so I looked real sissy. Of course that lead to another unforgettable moment thanks to Linda. I will share that next time.

Happy New Year!

I know that it has been a long time since I last updated my blog. A  lot has happen over the past year… medical problems followed by personal problems, lack of ambition on my part connected to changes occurring in Linda and my lives. I apologize for not getting back to my blog but I needed the time to allow me to mend, heal, accept, and move on.

I am planning on resuming the blog in 2011. This will mean bringing you up to date with changes and, hopefully, sharing new adventures. Thanks to everyone who has written and expressed concern as well as those who have faithfully checked back to see if anything new had been added. I don’t want to write junk or post garbage. I want my blog to be truthful, insightful, and interesting, and I won’t post if I cannot maintain the level to which you have come to expect.

So, to you my friends, have a great New Year’s Eve, party hardy, play safe and sane, and we will see you in the new year.

Respectfully,

Beverly and Linda

A Few Steps Forward

I’m getting back into my routines finally. I’m able to pick up where I left off with my work while only suffering a small loss of income and only one client who couldn’t wait for me to get better. I am also dressing enfemme most of the time and resuming the cooking and cleaning as before the accident. My typing is still slow and some motor skills are slow returning. But for the most part I think everything is going to be alright.

Thanks to everyone who wrote to me, left comments on my posts, and kept checking in to my blog to see if anything new had been posted. I’m sorry for the long delay but I needed to take the time to heal in several ways. Your support and understanding is greatly appreciated by both Linda and me.

I am not going to try to reconstruct everything that has taken place over the last 5 months. Most of it is boring and doesn’t belong on this blog. But there are a few things that I think need to be covered to be able to continue the blog from this point.

First, I did not have a Super Bowl party. If you remember Linda had discussed fully bringing Beverly out to our family and friends. Most of the family knows or suspects that I spend much of my time in my feminine role and a few of our friends know and have met or spent time with Beverly. But the plan was to have me fully show that side to everyone we are in contact with on a regular basis, and the venue was to be at our Super Bowl party. Well, needless to say there was no party. In fact, I barely remember the game due to the strong pain pills I was taking at the time. I spent the day laying on the sofa snoozing off and on. I think Linda was there but I don’t think anyone else was. Maybe my mother stopped in to check on my but I really don’t remember.

I do remember Linda coming back from her business trip to the east coast. She was brought home by her co-worker and travel companion, Mike. I was in bed when she got home. Pam had been taking care of me and had me dressed in a pink nightgown. She had decided that I had to try to look good for Linda’s return so she had put make-up on me and fixed my hair. I was pretty zoned out on pills when Linda got home but I definitely remember her walking into the bedroom with Mike right behind her. They had both wanted to check on me.

I had briefly met Mike at the airport when I dropped Linda off and she had introduced us. At the time she didn’t introduce me as her husband, just as Beverly, so I wasn’t sure if Mike knew just who I was. And there we were meeting for a second time with me once again dressed as Bev. I don’t know if it was my imagination or the drugs but I thought that I detected some closeness going on between them. Linda kissed me on the check and said she would be back in a minute, then proceeded to walk Mike out.

I later learned from Linda that there had been some flirting going on during their trip but nothing happened, though she did say that they had a couple of late nights together during the trip. She told me that they had gone out to dinner both nights and then gone to the hotel bar for a nightcap. She said that they had gone back to their rooms well past midnight each night. The last night Mike walked her to her door and kissed her while trying to persuade her to let him come in. She rebuffed his advances and was able to stop him with just a couple of kisses. I didn’t ask if she was disappointed that she had stopped because I really didn’t want to know the answer.

I am finally back into my cleaning and cooking routine so Linda is returning home after work to a clean house and a hot meal. I have tried to repay my sister and mother by offering to come clean their homes but neither would hear of it, saying they were happy to be able to help me through the rough times.

During the darkest of times I quit dressing enfemme for about 6 weeks. Then I slowly started reverting to the old ways by wearing a skirt and top but not putting on make-up. Linda kept insisting that I would feel (and look) better if I put on some make-up but I wouldn’t listen. It finally took a trip to my friend and hairstylist, Meghan, to get me to come around. While working on my hair, she was spending a lot of time talking to me and listening to my sad story. I wasn’t paying too much attention to what she was doing with my hair but when she finally let me look in the mirror I saw that she had fixed it really cute and feminine. All of the old desires and feeling about my feminine side started rushing back in. I gave her a big hug when I left and rushed home to put on a dress and fix my face. Linda was really pleased when she walked in the door and saw her old Beverly was back.

During my recovery period Linda did not push the wife-led marriage aspect of our relationship. She let me recover at my own speed. As soon as she saw me that night after my trip to the beauty salon, she jumped back into her leadership role in our marriage. During dinner she told me that it was time for me to get back to where I belonged… as the wife in our relationship. She wanted me to return to keeping the house up and doing my chores. No more slacking off. She also said that I had been staying inside too much and she wanted us to begin having a social life again. Beginning that weekend she wanted us to go out with me as Beverly.

It looked like things were back to normal for us.

Back Among The Living

I am so sorry for letting this blog sit silent for so long, my dear friends. Thank- you to all of the kind people who expressed their concerns for Linda and me, and for sending your blessings as well as showing your support for my simple blog. It really means a great deal to me, more then you will ever know.

I don’t know if I will be able to reconstruct everything that has taken place over the last few months, and not sure that I want to relive most of it. I never really knew what a depression was. I had heard the term and knew others who had suffered through it, but I found out that it is impossible to truly understand the gravity of the situation until I was forced to live through it. I would not wish that experience on my worst enemy.

I don’t want to dwell on the negative but feel I must report on some of it for those who worried about and stuck by me. I am still not fully recovered and am told that it might take months before I feel I have ‘totally recovered’ (if there is such a thing). The broken and sprained bones are healed though I still feel some discomfort and weakness in both wrists at times. It’s the shattered ego that is taking the longest to heal.

I am not comfortable with asking for help. But this injury forced me to rely on others much more that I wanted. Just the simple tasks of dressing, bathing, even going to the bathroom required assistance. My modesty quickly and forcibly disappeared. Having to have one’s wife, mother, or sister wipe your bottom or zip up your pants will reduce even a strong person to tears.

Expressing my feminine side was not of interest for me following my accident. All I wanted to wear was something that was comfortable and easy to slide on and off. I did not feel the least bit feminine. At the hospital the nurses and doctors treated me like the lady I had presented at the ER. I didn’t have to move much so laying there in bed I really didn’t care much for how I was dressed. Linda and Pam made sure that I had feminine clothes available and I checked out of the hospital in a simple button-up the front dress with big sleeves. It was easy to put  on over my cast and bandages so I didn’t complain.

Once home I really didn’t care what I wore because I was on pain pills and slept most of the time. After the second week Linda talked me into dressing more as Bev as well as wearing some make-up (she had to put it on of course). Pam and Mom came by during the day while Linda was working and assisted me. The embarrassment of having them pull up my panties after helping me in the bathroom slowly died away and became just part of the routine. There is more to this part that I will relate later.

I think it was watching others taking care of my housework that really started the depression. I couldn’t help and just had to sit and watch them. I had to inform my clients that I would be taking some time off work because of the accident so I knew that I was not contributing to our financial situation either. These really pushed the depression faster.

More to come soon.